Culture Clash
by Unique Cullen o.O
Summary: What happens when you put two friendly vamapire clans, the cullens and OC, together oh and a Bella for 4-5 weeks, MADNESS of course. WARNING BAD SPELLING AND RATED T FOR LANUAGE AND MINOUR FLUFF. set between Eclipse and BD
1. Chapter 1

This is not copied, i am the original author of this story, i just didn't like a few of the un-delete able reviews

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

BPOV

We were sat down in the living room and the Coaley clan had decided to pop up for a little visit. We had all become great friends since Jasper found his dog May. Carlisle was at work and Esme was out in the garden which left all twelve teenagers in the house all alone, big mistake or not, we had the TV on as a little prop so Esme thought we were being good and not planning anything when an advert came up for compare the market and Emmett's face lit up with an idea.

"Oh no, what is he planning Edward?" I whispered to Edward

"I honestly don't know, he's blocking his thoughts from me with the Llama song, it's rather annoying" Edward replied. Alice, Jasper, Matt, Jess, Gemma, Sophie and Jono looked up at Emmett, James didn't need to because he already knew Emmet's plan

"C'mon James lets go see if that website really does exist!" Emmett remarked, so he and James ran upstairs to look up the website. As soon as they were gone we all got back to what we were doing.

EmPOV

James and I were just waiting for the laptop to load up; as soon as it loaded up I opened the Internet (my dictionary for evil plans/porn) and looked up the website,

"James... James where are you?" I asked looking around the room confused, I stood up and looked around the room, I could hear laughing from downstairs; I couldn't be bothered to go downstairs to see what they were laughing at. I saw the website; it wasn't like it was on the advert stupid, stupid computer.

BPOV

James came back downstairs after several minutes of being upstairs, so we laughed and Emmett still didn't come downstairs, then several minutes after our laughter there was a huge crash coming from upstairs so Rosalie stopped talking to Alice, Gemma, Jess, Sophie and myself to go see what happened upstairs knowing that it was probably Emmett that made the crash, bang and thud as we were downstairs we heard the whole thing.

"EMMETT YOU BLOODY TWIT!!" Rosalie shouted

"I'm sorry Rosie, the website wasn't shown on the Internet like it was in the advert," Emmett apologised, Esme came into the house once she heard Rosalie shouting at Emmett but Jasper held her back

"I wouldn't go up there Esme, Rosalie is sorting it out, I think" Alice said, Esme sighed and went back outside to finish the garden. As soon as she was outside Rosalie was dragging Emmett down by the ear, she didn't look too happy, Edward laughed and Rosalie shot a death glare at him to make him shut up,

"I'm sorry Rosalie, but you should hear Emmett's thoughts they are so funny, and Emmett you should cheer up because Jazzy's all depressed now you're depressed." Edward chuckled. Just then Alice and Sophie jumped up and started to dance and scream then Rosalie and Gemma looked at the TV screen then screamed and the guys, I and Jess groaned, great all we need a sale at their favourite shops.

BPOV

I was dragged up stairs straight to Alice's room after five minutes of screaming Edward tried to save me but Rosalie, Gemma and Sophie blocked his way smiling at him, I knew what was going to happen as soon as Alice looked at me with the 'make over time' look and Edwards face went into horror, we reached Alice's room and she dropped me in the makeup chair then Rosalie and Sophie joined us.

"Gemma's downstairs persuading Jess to come upstairs and she's also making sure that the boy's don't come up." Sophie said as she went back outside to go help Gemma to get Jess, they obviously persuaded her to come up because a few seconds later Jess, Sophie and Gemma walked into the room, I wonder how hard it was for them to get her away from Matt. Several hours later both I and Jess were 'presentable' so we were allowed to go downstairs back to the boys with Alice, Sophie, Rosalie and Gemma following behind us.

"You ready boys its shopping time!" Rosalie grinned, the boys nodded in terror. On the way there everyone was talking but Gemma wasn't because she was alone in her own car, she had left earlier than us.

"What is she doing Eddie?" I whispered to Edward,

"I have no idea she's singing Annie songs repeatedly in her head, so I can't read her mind' Edward replied, when we pulled up in a parking space next to Gemma's car. She came slowly walking towards us with someone following her.

GPOV

I left the house before the Cullens and my family so I could meet up with my friend that happened to of been changed on the same night as me, her name was Pim, she has short black hair with highlights and is about the same height as me, as I parked into a space she was there waiting by the benches in front of the Mall.

"Hi Pim long time no see" I said walking up to her slowly,

"Yup, so when am I going to meet the Cullens?" Pim asked, as we hugged each other

"In a sec they are just arriving" I replied turning around, "As a matter of fact here they are, in the Volvo and the BMW Convertible." Pim nodded as I spoke, as they were getting out of the cars I walked up to them at human speed with Pim following.

"Hi Gemz" Sophie and Jess said at the same time as they got out of the car, I waved back not wanting to say anything until everyone was out of the cars, Edward and Bella looked at me suspiciously I waited until everyone was ready,

"Gemma who's that behind you? You've been acting all suspicious lately, I think we all are worried" Emmett blurted out.

BPOV

After Emmett asked a girl stepped to the side so we could all see her, she looked a bit like everyone but her eyes weren't gold like everyone else's, they were red, blood red, I slowly backed away.

"Ummm Gemma she has red eyes and I think I know what that means." I muttered, everyone but Gemma and her friend gasped and stood in front of me,

"I think we should come back another day Gemma, no offence or anything but Bella's health," Jasper said and some of us nodded.

"Gemma what were you thinking bringing Pim here you know she's not a vegetarian..." Matt started before being interrupted by Gemma

"It is all fine, and she is a vegetarian, her eyes haven adjusted yet even though she's the same age as me, so Bella you are completely safe from any harm" Gemma said as 'Pim' walked forward with her hand out, she was walking towards me.

"You're completely safe, my contact lenses will disappear in 5...4...3...2...1" Pim whispered and as soon as she said 1 he eyes turned gold and contact lenses fell out of her eyes then everyone started to laugh, except me I walked off in a grump towards the shops.

"Aw Bella we're sorry but we all were in on the trick except Edward!" Alice shouted, the laughter had stopped and I turned around I guessed that no more tricks will be played on me....


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: i most certainly do not own Twilight, or the characters. i only own this Elmo teddy**

Jono POV

Jeeze I thought I absolutely hate shopping its bad enough when just Sophie and Gemma, we guys and Jess could tell that Bella didn't like shopping because she fell asleep in the mall just as we were walking out so Edward had to carry her out to the Volvo. When we arrived back at the Cullens Edward carried Bella up the stairs whilst Jasper and Emmett were arguing, it sounded like they starter the argument when we were driving back so as soon as we walked into the house and Edward was taking Bella up to his room, I started to take bets. Edward came down an hour later and Jasper and Emmett were still fighting using violence this time, and the girls were gossiping except for Matt and Jess they started to speak to Edward as he came downstairs, Jess stood up and joined the girls because they were talking about animals, so Matt and Edward started to talk really quietly whilst I was still watching Jasper and Emmett fight.

"Oh Jasper, come here please," Alice called to Jasper, so he stood up and walked over to Alice,

"Yes dear?" He asked in a southern accent

"Nothing, I just wanted you to stop fighting you'll probably wake up Bella then Edward will kill you and Emmett , but I don't care about Emmett, I care about you" Alice grinned

"Hey!! I resent that people care about me!" Emmett spoke slightly annoyed

"Who then?"

"Ummmm, Rosalie cares about me, don't you honey? Emmett asked Rosalie hopefully, Rosalie looked at him then smiled sweetly and looked away which made Edward laughed, I'm guessing their little private conversation had ended a little while ago.

MPOV

When Edward came downstairs he came over to sit with me and Jess, who was sat on my lap, and we started talking. Then Jess stood up and walked over to the girls because they were talking about animals and Jess is a sucker for animals, that is when I started to talk to Edward through my mind so Jess couldn't hear me, umm Edward how did you purpose to Bella? I asked in my thoughts,

"Well I asked her privately away from the others to keep it a secret but it didn't stay a secret for long," He replied with a whisper "why did you want to know?"

"I'm thinking of asking Jess to marry me" I thought, Edward nodded then he turned around and started to laugh, although I didn't quite catch what was being said it was something about people not caring about Emmett.

BPOV

I woke up in Edwards's room so I quietly walked downstairs, to hear everyone laughing, Emmett must have heard me and as I got to the last step he turned around to face me,

"ARGH, IT'S AWAKE!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!" He yelled, then turned around to see Edward glaring at him, which made me laugh so hard Pim had to catch me because I almost fell over and she was closest to me then next thing I knew Emmett was outside and Edward was beating him up, and Emmett was shouting in pain, but I didn't get that because vampires can't feel pain at all.

EdPOV

"I was only kidding Eddie OWW bastard!!!" Emmett yelled as I was beating him up,

"I don't bloody care, and DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" I yelled back, as I chased him into the forest throwing bricks at him,

"OW, that bloody hurt you overprotective git!"

"good, Emmy" I mocked, still throwing stuff at him, then I heard Bella scream from inside the house so I forgot to beat Emmett up to save my sweet Bella,

"Yeh go save your damsel in distress you overprotective..." Emmett yelled after me

"Zip it" I cut over him to go save Bella...


	3. Chapter 3

**Declaimer: I'll only own Twilight when i become related to Stephanie, which will be ummmm, never, darn**

EdPOV

I bolted up to the house at full speed to save my Bella. When I got in only Jasper, James, Jono and Matt were downstairs.

"Where the hell is Bella?" I half yelled, the guys pointed upstairs

"How did they get her up there?"

"Ummm she was tricked by Alice" James replied, so I slowly walked upstairs cautiously in case traps were set for me by the girls. Maybe they are working for Tanya I thought. I rather hope not that then means they'll try to get rid of Bella and I'll end up being unhappy for the rest of my life.

APOV

"Oh my Jasper, I've just had an amazing idea, Bella and everyone knows my face so I'm going to trick them into thinking my Vision was of us girls giving Bella a makeover, even though it wasn't ha ha ha."

"Umm Bella?" I smiled sweetly

"Alice" Bella looked around; it was so obvious she was interested in Edward beating Emmett up, although it is hilarious.

"100 on Edward" Jasper whispered to Jono

"Deal" Jono replied, typical boys always betting on each other,

"Alice what was it you wanted?" Bella half yelled

"Jeeze Bella no need to yell, umm what was it oh yeh I have a surprise for you upstairs" I replied whilst still shocked from Bella's yelling, so I gently grabbed Bella's wrist and dragged her upstairs the other girls apart from Jess followed then Jasper chuckled then turned to me so I turned around

"Alice, Bella is scared now since everyone else has stood up," Jasper chuckled. Bella shot him a death glare which made almost everyone laugh and Jasper just slumped back in the seat.

"There is no need what so ever for you to be scared Bella, trust me, please" I turned to Bella, she nodded. I grinned triumphantly and lead Bella up to my room to give her the 'surprise'. So I lead her upstairs to my room and Pim shut the door so Bella sat on the bed and everyone had sat down behind her.

I walked over to the closet muttering 'where oh where is it'

"Need help Alice?" Pim asked standing up,

"Umm please, by the way Pim do you have a power?" Alice enquired,

"Yes I have the power to find lost items and here is the surprise for Bella" Pim said whilst holding up the wrapped gift, so I took it from her nodded in appreciation then walked slowly over to Bella her eyes widened as I walked closer and closer to her holding out the wrapped up gift.

"Alice do you remember my birthday when I accidentally cut myself on wrapping paper in front of vampires, I don't really want that to happen again," Bella spoke sounding really worried, she took the present from me and she slowly tore off the paper so she wouldn't get cut I swore I saw Rosalie and Gemma roll their eyes. Once the paper was off, Bella's eyes widened.

BPOV

Slowly, slowly I thought taking the paper off once all the paper was off Sophie quickly whisked the paper away. I looked at the gift, it was a chocolate bar. A huge smile spread across my face as I opened the chocolate bar and I took one bite as I swallowed the first bite and went to take another Edward burst into the room, and glared daggers at Alice.

"Alice I thought I told you not to give Bella chocolate," Edward sighed

"Why isn't Bella allowed chocolate?" Gemma asked, as soon as she said that I was hyper jumping all around the room shouting.

"Ohh that's why Bella isn't allowed chocolate" Gemma spoke her eyes following me, Edward rushed to the top of the stairs and shouted for Jasper then they both walked into the room and Jasper sighed,

"Who gave her chocolate?" Jasper said worryingly,

"Umm guilty" Alice raised her hand and Jasper stared at her at disbelief Jasper walked over to me and them got hold of my arms which I thought was dangerous for him in case he lost control,

"Bella, Bella please listen to me, calm down, if you value my sanity you will calm down... NOW!!" Jasper prepped talked me and I calmed down straight away, I shot Alice Daggers so I walked over to Edward and pouted, he smiled my favourite crooked smile, we walked hand in hand downstairs to a different surprise...


	4. Chapter 4

As we walked downstairs we saw Matt on one knee in front of Jess. We all gasped in surprise and Alice had a smile on her face/ Matt had a small box in his hands and Jess was looking down at him,

"Jesse, will you marry me please?" Matt asked,

"Yes" Jess half shouted, Matt stood up and opened the box inside was a little onyx star ring and Jess gasped. We all 'awed' at them. the sight was just sweet. Emmett suddenly laughed, which made Jess and Matt shot daggers at him. We all had decided to go out somewhere to give them some privacy; Rose walked up to Emmett and slapped him round the head,

"OWWW, WHAT IS IT, ABUSE EMMETT DAY?" he half yelled,

"YES IT IS" we all yelled back so as we walked past him we hit him round the head (Edward hit him twice, one from me) and he stood there grumbling so he trudged up to his room alone, Sophie turned around and looked at the door.

"Postman is here" she grumbled, Alice danced to the door and picked up the mail.

"Carlisle, Carlisle, Emmett, Carlisle, ME! Jasper, oh look Rose has mail from Fashion weekly" Alice said surprised, Rosalie walked over and took her magazine from Alice and then floated over to the chair and opened the magazine,

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" she yelled, making me jump out of my skin literally, Gemma looked at the packet that made Rosalie shout Gemma was surprised/

"Oh. My. God. I can't believe that," Gemma managed to choke out, Alice, Jess, Sophie and I wandered over to her and looked at the packet and we all gasped at it. Emmett suddenly sprinted downstairs worried.

"What happened Rose bud?" Emmett asked Rosalie worried. Rose handed him the packet and Rosalie started to sob, Emmett's face fell even more than it was, if that is even possible, then Jacob walked through the door.

"WASSUP LEECHES?!" he yelled. Rosalie looked up and she glared,

"What do you want mongrel? Can't you see we're busy?" She spoke sharply like daggers. Jake walked over to Emmett and snatched the packet out of his hand. After that he then pointed and laughed at Rosalie. Emmett looked like he was going to kill him, BIG TIME!!...

BPOV

Hmmmm, I think that I'll help everyone kill Jacob, I thought, it will be so good.

"Umm guys who is this retard that reeks of shit?" Gemma asked, we all laughed, except the Coley clan.

"Umm, what's so funny, and Alice why have you suddenly gone all serious?" Sophie quizzed.

"This guy that 'reeks of shit' as you put it Gemma is Jacob Black a werewolf. Hey that's a new insult for us! And Alice is angry because she cannot see the future now he's here." Jasper managed to choke out

"Bella it is ok for us to call the mongrel, the retard that reeks of shit, isn't it, because I'm getting loads of hate, anger and evilness coming off of you since it walked in." I looked up at Jasper and nodded. Jacob took a step back he looked really creeped out at the fact that the number of vampires in the house has doubled,

"Emmett, do you have a baseball bet somewhere?" I asked, remembering that when I punched Jacob he said to use a crowbar or a baseball bat. Emmett smiled then ran upstairs, Jacob's eyes widened.

"Yes Jacob, you shouldn't have said that the next time she wants to hit you use a crow bar or baseball bat, and the baseball bat isn't wooden either," Edward smirked. Shortly after Edward turned his head slowly to the door and then Emmett came downstairs with an aluminium baseball bat, then Edward shook his head.

"Charlie is here, he wants to speak to Esme about Bella staying over for 3-4 weeks whilst he goes to Scotland because he has entered a fishing competition," Edward spoke. I lit up when I heard the me stay over for 3-4 weeks, then Charlie walked through the door.

"Umm hi kids, where is Esme or Carlisle, I don't mind?" He asked,

"Hi Charlie, Carlisle is at work and Esme is, umm, Edward where is Esme?" Alice chattered,

"I'm in the kitchen Charlie" Esme called "and behave in there just because your friends from Coley are over, you still have to behave." Charlie walked towards the kitchen he waved and nodded at Jacob. When Charlie disappeared Emmett gave me the bat and I smiled.

EdPOV

_I so glad Charlie came before I was slaughtered, uh oh why is she grinning, umm leech getting claustrophobic over here, I know I'll phase and tell Sam and that lot. _Jacobs thoughts can be so funny.

"Jacob I wouldn't phase in case you hurt Bella and Charlie is here so, and you getting claustrophobic, we don't really care." I chuckled.

"Grab him, so I can hit him with the bat," Bella whispered. We all nodded then one swing Jacob was on his knees in pain.

Bella smiled then whispered "night night Jacob" then with one last swing he was out cold on the floor with a thud Bella gave Emmett the bat back and he quickly put it back then Charlie started to come back from talking with Esme, he saw Jacob on the floor and us watching the TV.

"What was that thud?" Charlie spoke worried then he saw Jacob "why is he on the floor?"

"Jacob fell asleep on the floor he is so tired" Bella said so innocently, I regret saying that she couldn't act because Charlie took it. He headed for the door and before he left he spoke for the last time before he left the house and America all together for 3-4 weeks.

"Bella you're staying here for 5 weeks whilst I'm in England," then he turned around and was gone when Charlie was gone Esme turned to us grabbed the poker from the fireplace and poked Jacob and he woke up, we all groaned,

"You young man will get out of my house now before you stink up the place and I don't think Carlisle wants to come home from work with a house that smells like dog!" Esme yelled at Jacob and as she grabbed his ear to throw him outside Carlisle walked in and saw Esme about to throw Jacob out so he moved out of the way and let Esme throw him out.

"Thank you Esme, Bella I heard the good news that your staying over for several weeks" Carlisle spoke, "Let the madness begin then" …


	5. Chapter 5

_Previously…_

"_Thank you Esme, Bella I heard the good news that your staying over for several weeks" Carlisle spoke, "Let the madness begin then" …_

BPOV

After Jacob was kicked out by Esme and filmed by Rose, he came back looking in at the window so we all started to point and laugh at him. He turned around and walked home, as I turned around I saw that the girls were gone leaving me with the boys. I shrugged and Edward picked me up and sat me on the love seat. The next thing we knew Carlisle started shouting,

"TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN, NOW OR I'LL TAKE THE CD PLAYER AWAY!"

Wow, I never knew he could shout that loud, and I didn't hear any music.

"Edward is Carlisle on drugs, because I didn't hear any music," I whispered. Edward chuckled, and shook his head.

"BELLA, I AM NOT ON DRUGS!" Carlisle yelled, everyone yelled then Gemma and Sophie turned up downstairs laughing, Sophie walked forward shaking her head,

"Bella what happened was we were listening to dead and gone and hmm, hang on a sec," Sophie said. She had then disappeared then reappeared with a pen and paper and she was writing something down, when she had finished she handed the paper to me, _Carlisle is very old and he thinks that when music is on low it is loud, old people are like that, trust me, especially if it is rap. _I quickly read it laughing when I finished Gemma's head quickly turned to the stairs with a look of horror on her face.

"Pass that here Bella, he's coming down," Gemma hurried, I handed her the paper and she screwed it up and ran out of the house. As she left the house, Carlisle came downstairs,

"Where is Gemma?" he asked.

"She went out hunting and I should go to," James said, as he got up and ran out of the door.

"Same shouldn't we, Pim, Jono, Jess and Matt especially if Bella is staying for a couple of weeks," Sophie said. Pim was suddenly at her side and the Coaleys were out of the door in a flash. Shortly after Alice and Rosalie were downstairs, Carlisle gave them a, don't play music too loud, look and he went back up to his office.

GPOV

As I was out of the house I hid around the corner, then the rest joined me and I threw the paper in the bin, and we went hunting.

"That was close Soph and Gem" Jess spoke, the guys nodded in agreement. Pim just stood there and smiled

"What you planning Pim?"

"Nothing, or a way to get Carlisle back," Pim smiled mischievously.

"Omega, good idea Pim we should get the others in as well" I said in agreement. We quickly finished hunting then my phone went off. I laughed at my ring tone, asshole calling classic ring tone. I looked at the caller id and saw that it was Bella, so I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Gem, I'm calling to say that Carlisle has gone to work so it is safe now,"

"Ok we were just finishing up, Ohh no"

"What?"

"James and Jono, I'll tell ya'll later"

"Ok, bye"

"Bye" I hung up.

"GUYS TIME TO GO BACK ITS SAFE NOW!" I felt the need to shout, everyone was at my side in a flash so we ran back to the house as we walked in Bella turned round and smiled,

"So what happened" She asked,

"Well..." I started…


	6. Chapter 6

_Previously..._

"_So what happened" She asked,_

"_Well..." I started…_

SPOV

"Whilst we were out James and Jono decided to skate around on their skateboards and pick me and Pim up bridal style. They were on their skateboards and they were skating so fast with us in their arms, they… I couldn't finish my sentence due to the fact that I burst out laughing.

"Want me to continue sister?" Jess asked, I just nodded, and "as Sophie was saying James and Jono, being the clowns they are, almost hit a tree with Sophie and Pim in their arms of course James couldn't pick Gemma up because she was on the phone to Bella." Everyone just burst out laughing.

"Typical Gemma on the phone 24/7" James muttered, then after that remark Gemma smacked him upside of his head,

"OWWW, Gemzy what was that for darling'?" James asked whilst rubbing his head,

"I don't spend 24/4 on the phone to my friends, if I'm on the phone I'm either talking to our old friend Mike, or Pim, or these guys," Gemma moaned. Then Gemma's phone started to ring.

_**You've got 10 seconds to take this call,**_

_**10**_

_**9**_

_**8**_

_**7**_

_**6**_

_**5**_

_**4**_

_**3**_

_**2**_

_**1**_

_***insert random noises here***_

_**You should have picked it up earlier**_

Gemma picked it up then covered her hand over the speaker and said, "Its Mike!" we all rushed around the phone and listened in,

"Hey Gemma"

"Hey Mike"

"How are you today?"

"We're all good, just visiting some friends out of town,"

"Ahh when do you think you're coming back?"

"About a month's time"

"Oh, are you in or out of England?"

"Out, we're in America"

"Ok, bye"

"Bye Mike,"

"BYE FRIEND MIKE, OWWW!" Emmett yelled

"Who was that?"

"One of the friends, we're visiting, no Sophie, no don't"

"HIYA MIKE"

"Hi Sophie"

"I've got to go now mike nice bugging you!"

"Ok Sophie bye"

Gemma was just looking at me really angrily like she would kill me.

"He he, should I run, now?" I asked,

"I would if I were you Soph" Matt answered for Gemma,

"You know what she's like when she's angry; remember what she did to Jono when he burnt nearly all her clothes" Jess added,

"You have to admit, that was funny wasn't it Jono" James chuckled

"Not as funny as watching you having your butt kicked by Gemma, Sophie and Jess" Jono smart talked back,

"Touché"

"OK I'll just be running now… HELP MAD WOMAN AFTER ME!" I yelled as I ran out of the door with Gemma hot on my heels…


	7. Chapter 7

_Previously…_

"_Ok, I'll just be running now… HELP! MAD WOMAN AFTER ME!" I yelled as I ran out of the door with Gemma hot on my heels…_

GPOV

Trying to catch Sophie is impossible, "GET HERE NOW YOU LITTLE MINX!" I shouted whilst chasing her,

"NO!"

"WACTH OUT FOR THE TREE!"

"N… OW"

"HA HA HA WAY! LOSER, YOU RAN INTO A TREE!" I shouted as I witnessed Sophie run into the tree, then everyone joined us then as soon as Emmett saw Sophie lying on the floor and a huge dent in the tree he burst out laughing.

BPOV

We heard to whole thing in the house it was pretty funny as soon as we heard Gemma yell "HA HA HA WAY, LOSER," everyone was out of the door in a flash but me on Edward's back to where Sophie and Gemma where the sight was hilarious, Gemma was pointing at the ground laughing and Sophie was on the floor rubbing her nose painfully. "I thought I was the clumsy one, and vampires can't fall over" I spoke:

"We can't but Sophie managed it" Pim spoke, then out of the blue Jacob popped up and there was a white flash,

"HA HA, stupid bloodsuckers this is going on my wall of leech stupid moments," he laughed out then Sophie was up in a flash and beating the crap out of Jacob, it was pretty funny then someone's phone went off,

_**uhh like it like it  
I'll Do Ya Like A Truck  
with me !  
uhh like it like it  
I'll Do Ya Like A Truck  
one more time !  
uhh like it like it  
I'll Do Ya Like A Truck  
once again !  
uhh like it like it  
I'll Do Ya Like A Truck  
just you !**_

"Yello?"

"Hi this is some random person calling to see if my son Jacob is there"

"HEY JACOB, SOME RANDOM MAN WANTS TO TALK TO YOU;" James yelled to Jacob, Jacob stood up and walked over to James and nodded.

"Hello?"

"Jacob, Sam needs you down at the res"

"Ok I'm on my way down."

Jacob hung up then threw the phone to James, who phased then ran off into the forest. Sophie walks over to Gemma and punches her on the shoulder and smiles then walks towards the house;

"I need a shower, I reek of dog." She says,

"And dog shit" Jess remarks.

"BITCH FIGHT," Emmett yells, and then Rosalie hits him on the arm.

"Let's all go back to the house and find some thing to do," Rosalie said. Emmett smirks;

"EW, EMMETT WE'RE NOT DOING THAT AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SPECIFICLY!!" Edward suddenly yells.

"What was it, Edward?" everyone but Emmett and Rosalie asked.

"Do I need to say?" Edward spoke, the every one pulled faces and Emmett just laughed and Rosalie hit him again.

"Hey Emmett!" Matt yelled then Emmett turned around and Gemma whispered something to him, "Emmett, THOG MA HONE!" Matt yelled to Emmett,.

"What in the world does that mean?" Emmett looked really confused; it was funny seeing the different confused faces, he made.

"It means… KISS MY ASS in Irish!" Pim shouted to Emmett.

"No thanks, I'd prefer to kiss Jasper's ass!" Emmett remarked, Jasper pulled a face and Edward laughed, I wasn't going to ask why, but I'm guessing it was Jasper's thoughts; they might be going along the lines of "EW gross Emmett, I'd rather have someone else like Alice kiss my ass not you, gay lord."

"Edward, please stay out of my head. Or I'll muck about with Bella's emotions." Jasper said, Edward growled:

"It was just floating there in the back of my head, although I do agree with the Emmett's a gay lord bit." Everyone but Emmett laughed, Alice walked over to me and Edward.

"Eddy, I'd give Bella to me because Emmett's about to jump on you," Alice said and held her arms out. Edward let go of me and I went over to Sophie instead and stood next to her. Alice gave me a why look and ran over to us, Edward was prepared for Emmett to jump on him then in a flash Emmett was trying to hit Edward but failing -

"EMMETT YOU'RE FAILING, EPICLY, JUST GIVE UP NOW!" I yelled at the baboon trying to attack my fiancée. Emmett stood up and trudged up to the house and we ran back beating Emmett there,

"Bella, I think you need to stop using words that Gemma, Sophie, Matt, Jess and Jono are teaching you." Edward said.

"Why? They're good come backs. Oh, and can I squeeze lemons in Eric's eyes and run please? It sounds like fun!" I replied.

"GEMMA! Don't teach Bella those sorts of things," Edward yelled,

"I didn't teach her those," Gemma said.

"Who did then?"

"James did."

"Ok" Edward ended it right there and carried me bridal style to the house.

**Ok this is the re-written version, but this time checked by my AWSOME beta quickquotesqueen.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Mini A/N This was all Sophie Whitlock Hale Cullen's idea, check out her other stories especially: the Volturi's revenge, Road trip! And Pranks Galore. On with the story now…**

_Previously…_

"_Why? They are good come backs! Oh, and can I squeeze lemons in Eric's eyes and run, please? It sounds like fun." I replied._

"_GEMMA! Don't teach Bella those sorts of things." Edward yelled,_

"_I didn't teach her those," Gemma said._

"_Who did then?"_

"_James did."_

"_Ok"_

JamesPOV

"Gemma why do you blame me for everything?" I asked.

"It's fun. Plus, you should be a man and accept the blame," Gemma pointed out.

"Dude, you just got burned, by Gemma!" Matt half yelled, so I ran toward Matt to hit him but Pim got in the way. She muttered something about boys being boys. Well I'm sorry, but I'm no boy I'm a man. Shit, I forgot Edward's near by and he can read this, shit shit shit.

SPOV

Argh! Must get Gemma back for that trick. Hmm, I know, I smiled at the thought I just had. Alice and Edward laughed. "So Sophie, buddy, what u doin'?" Emmett asked. I tapped my nose and ran up to Alice writing down supplies;

"Alice, do you reckon we could go shopping to get these supplies?" I gave her the piece of paper and we ran off to the Porche, a few hours later we were back at the house and plan pay back was a go. Basically, I had spiked my hair up like a lion's mane and painted my face yellow. Then I hid, waiting for Gemma to pass by so I could get her back for the tree incident.

Bingo! There she came; talking on the phone to her friend Alex or something like that. Ok, now in: 3...2...1 "SURPRISE!!!" I yelled as she walked past

"AAAARRGGGHH, SOPHIE!" Gemma yelled as she dropped the phone "usted es tan muerto usted pequeña moza descarada!"

Emmett started to laugh so we pounced on him and started to attack him. "cierre su no que divertido" Gemma spoke whilst punching him then suddenly there was a loud crunch and Emmett stood up and Gemma's phone was on the floor in pieces her eyes suddenly went red "USTED ASSHOLE ESTÚPIDO USTED ROMPIÓ MI TELÉFONO!" she yelled. (Wow Gemma uses a lot of Spanish when she's angry…)


	9. AN

**Hello, the last chapter wasn't entirely finished, so Sophie Whitlock Hale Cullen has the rest of the chapter as a one shot, it isn't published yet, and if Sophie is reading this, POST IT ALREADY!!!**

**My apologies for the delay**

**Unique cullen o.O**


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight If I did then I would replace Bella as moi and Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle would be mine**

**Now on with the story…**

Third person POV (couz I cannot be arsed to have a POV at all)

After the little 'episode' as Carlisle put it everyone was sat down doing their own business then Emmett's face lit up and Alice had a vision, "Oh my God, I have an idea!!" Emmett half shouted,

"Someone go hide the china and drugs" Esme spoke

"No it's not that lets all go to… LEGOLAND!!" Emmett shouted and Gemma looked up from the magazine and started to run around the entire of Forks, human and vampire speed screaming after 15mins she had fully calmed down and Emmett turned to Sophie, "What's up with her, when I said Legoland?" he asked, Gemma started to scream again and Bella winced,

"Jasper please calm Bella down before she goes deaf" Edward said and Jasper stood up and stood next to Gemma to calm her down,

"Well whenever that place is mentioned Gemma goes on frenzy, the reason is because when she was human her parents made her go every year, more than once a year sometimes if her luck ran out" Jess explained and Rosalie stood up and hit Emmett for the idea Edwards eyes suddenly widened,

"Emmett don't you da…"

"LEGOLAND"

Gemma was running around screaming and everyone was trying to catch her except Emmett who was laughing and shouting Legoland.

After five hours everyone had managed to catch Gemma and she was sat on the sofa in chains,

"Why me, Why must I be in chains?" she complained,

"Because we're going now" Pim spoke softly and Gemma gasped,

"And you we're meant to be my friend and stand behind me" Gemma spoke

"I want to go Gemma and so does everyone else" she replied back

"Ok, but please unchain me, I promise that I won't run away, Guide promise" Gemma promised, Pim grabbed the key and unlocked the chains, as soon as she was free she ran, but she didn't get very far, the Cullen's was holding up a huge cardboard clown and Gemma backed away slowly tripping over Bella in the process of backing away,

"OWWW, EDDIE THE MEAN PERSON HURT ME!!" Bella yelled and Edward ran over to Bella and picked her up, James walked over to Gemma and helped her up then there was another click and a light, then Jacob running past laughing hysterically,

"I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU MUTT!!" James shouted running after Jacob and Jasper and Jono running after James to help him,

"Wow, ironic much" Sophie and Alice said together, and then they looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Lets all get into the cars then kids" Esme spoke clapping her hands together and everyone filed out of the door and into the cars. They picked James, Jono and Jasper on their way out of Forks.

They made it to Windsor at five in the morning and Bella was fast asleep so everyone booked into a hotel.

**Sorry it's a short chapt but I cannot be bothered to write any more right now**


	11. an sorry

**I apologise for not updating in forever the reason is, school, coursework, GCSEs and my computer being completely stupid and losing all my fanfics, also my amazing Beta also being busy. If you have any ideas for new chapts please please, PM me.**

**Unique Cullen o.O**

**LOTZA LOVEZ!!**


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